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12 January 2014

A year without Alice

So it's 2014. I can't believe that we're in a different year and that everything about Alice is last year. I wrote this for Alice's one year anniversary but after I sent it to the local newspaper for a special piece they were doing, I didn't want to publish it straight away and so it's late and I'm sorry.

"A Year without Alice"
Some days, it feels like yesterday that I last spoke to her - if I close my eyes and concentrate, I can hear her voice as if she was stood next to me.  Other days, it feels a long, long time ago.
And sometimes I miss her so badly that I feel my heart will break.
When I was little, Alice was very protective of me. If anyone upset me, they'd have Alice to deal with. If I threw a fit at something, she'd slide a little note under my door, desperate for me to be happy again. She hated people to be unhappy, she wanted to make the world smile. She'd transform our bathroom into "Alice's Spa" and invite me for bubble baths and massages and nails. And when it was stormy and I was frightened, she'd come into my room and climb into bed with me and watch movies to hide the noise. And then she got ill.
As she became sicker, I watched as she faced everything with a smile on her face. Every time it seemed like there was no more treatment, her and mum would go off and find a way. I never thought that she wouldn't get better. I grew taller than Alice and I sat on her bed watching movies with her. I painted her nails and rubbed her back and she told me how much she loved me and me her. And she asked me to make a difference and make my life count. So I'm trying.
We went skiing over Christmas and I think I did really well and by the middle of the week, I could ski back to the village with Mum. We stayed in a really nice hotel and me and Mum kept sneaking back from the slopes to go in the spa which was awesome. The only thing I regret is not trying snowboarding because I think I'd have enjoyed that even more.

For Alice's anniversary we stayed at the Coppermines Cottages in Coniston. They already support Alice's charity but when we were looking for somewhere to stay for her anniversary, Phil invited us to go and stay for the week and it was stunning. We had log fires every night and the dogs walked were exhausted from all the walking mum did with them.  On the 12th we went walking up Coniston Old Man and along to Wetherlam. It was snowy and really cold on the top but the view was beautiful and we opened a bottle of champagne (Mum loved this part of the walk) and we all had a drink for Alice. I wanted to be snowed in so that I could go walking every day and didn't have to go to school. But the school drivers picked me up from Coniston and they were really friendly (sometimes we have miserable drivers from Ulverston), so I got there every day!

This week I had my mock exams which were awful. I've done Biology theory and PE theory which are probably my worst subjects, but I have PE practical on Friday which is normally one of my favourites, except I have to do hockey which I don't play - doh! I also had a disastrous Spanish test - perhaps I shouldn't be doing two languages!
"Everyone is a genius. But if you judge a fish on its ability to climb a tree, it will live its whole life believing that it is stupid" - Albert Einstein 
I'm still going to Oxfam on Saturdays and there's some really nice people volunteering with me. My job is usually sorting the clothes into piles and pricing them up, standing by a window looking out into the market square. I love fashion, so when I find any designer stuff it takes me even longer to sort them!

It's only 15 weeks until the K2B and I'm trying to keep my fitness going. As well as my mountain walking, I've been running and going to Zumba. I'm really nervous about keeping hold of Alice's Trophy. Last year I thought it was important to win it for Alice, but now that it is next year, it would really upset me to hand it back. So I need to fundraise and make sure we keep it! If you'd like to support me, any amount is REALLY appreciated and we cover all our own costs so the charity gets all of the money you donate - SPONSOR ME HERE

We haven't got any plans for summer. I'd love to go back to Vancouver and it's on Alice's list, but I'd like to visit Thailand too.  Mum and Dad are so indecisive that usually things are booked up when we eventually agree on something. I think that me and Mum will go camping in Cornwall again which was one of my best holidays last year and we can take the dogs too. When I'm older, I'd love a VW camper van in duck egg blue and I'd travel around doing festivals and go surfing in Cornwall with my friends.

I've been thinking a lot about my future. My best subjects are probably English and Art and I'm really interested in film, especially screenwriting. I find it super interesting how you turn a book into a movie and I feel that it would be something I'd enjoy. I have already been looking at colleges and have seen a few that look amazing. Mum will have to get more Labradors if I move out!

I hope everyone has a good month.
Lots of love,
Milly x


  1. This is such a beautiful post Milly. Very inspiring and touching. x

  2. You and your your mom and dad sound like very wonderful people.

    Good luck with your screenwriting and travel adventures. I hope to see your movies up on the screen someday!

  3. What you wrote for Alice is beautiful...there is nothing like the bond of sisters. You are doing an amazing job of making a difference :)

  4. Millie I always read Alice's blog and like many many others my heart broke when you lost her but I am really enjoying your tributes to her and hope it helps you heal x

  5. Milly,

    I enjoyed reading your tribute to Alice, and it was nice to learn more about you and your plans and dreams. May the Lord provide many blessings to your family in the coming year.

  6. This is such a heart touching post. I can understand your feelings and know who difficult is to live without someone, who was so much attached to you. This post is really demonstrating the care and affection that you have for your sister.

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  7. HI Milly,
    Its really good to be here, i am here via one of our Malayalam blogger via his facebook notification, Nice to know that you are going to continue your sister's wonderful blog. Indeed this piece is a fitting tribute to a loving sister who departed from this world at such a young age. We join you in hearing from you on the new developments, Keep informed
    Best Regards
    Philip Ariel

    PS: Milly, please remove the word verification from here, this gives bit trouble to your readers to comment, this you can do it very easily by visiting your dashboards settings page
    Have a wonderful and profitable week

  8. Your love for family will always grow,, your education will get easier the more mature you are. And you will find your true path in life with help from family and friends.
    You are very privileged, at a very young age to be afforded such lavish holidays,, I know you appreciate your wealth from what you see at Oxfam,,
    Take care, and I hope you had a nice Valentines day,,, Drop me a note some time,, I would love to hear if you ever wear the jewelery I sent you and Alice,, You never really ever commented,, do not even know if you like what I sent.
    Stay happy young miss Pyne,, you deserve to be pampered,,, Tony D

  9. A lovely tribute to a wonderful person. Thank you for sharing.

  10. I cried reading this, I run a bucket list website and have seen a-lot of stories but yours is truly inspirational, I makes me want to live every day fully and double my own efforts to experience everything I want to

  11. Links you to learn. Wish your first day working week favorable and fun